Perseverance Until the End

Three weeks ago today I returned from spring break vacation the States. That week away renewed my spirit and my visa. I came back prepared to finish my last five weeks in Haiti in high spirits and determined to finish up all I had started and love on my students, the kids downstairs, and the men and women of the fishing village. Little did I know that the last three weeks were going to be the hardest three weeks of my life so far. Since getting off the plane, there has been spiritual attack after spiritual attack. They started out small and individual to each one working with our ministry. I had been praying against a thought that crossed my mind very regularly since Saturday of someone getting in an accident involving a car/truck/moto. As I look back on it now, I think God was preparing me for what was to come. On Tuesday, only three days after returning, my best friend Liz was hit by a moto crossing the street to open the gate at school. I will never ever forget watching her get hit and fall to the ground. If any of you reading this blog know me at all, you know I don't do well with anything medical. I got off the bus as others were helping her back on to take her to the hospital. God was watching over her…she escaped with 1 stitch, a swollen upper lip, a bump on her forehead and scratches. I knew she would be fine and knew I had a school to take care of and make sure everyone else did their job. Students and teachers were shaken up because several had seen it happen. Half the teachers drove away to take Liz to the hospital as I became the middle and high school math, science, English, history, critical thinking, bible, yearbook, and P.E. teacher (14 different classes in all). Liz was out all week so I took over planning and teaching for all 14 different classes. That week finally ended, Liz returned and I rejoiced to be free from that much responsibility. It was emotionally and physically draining.

The second week came and went with multiple disciplinary issues with all my students. I felt like my students had taken 5 steps back and we were at the start of the school year again. It was very frustrating and discouraging to see how far back we moved after I thought we were making huge breakthroughs. The weekend started with a rouge fishing trip with the high school students where the only highlight was riding rough waves that reminded me of California and a peeling sunburn. I’m sure Jeff and Luke did not enjoy being trapped on a boat with their teachers but it was wonderful being able to spend time with them and chat on a more personal level.

Sickness knocked me down on Sunday and kept me laying low long into the third week. I started feeling better towards the end of the week when severe spiritual warfare brought me into a saddened state of mind. Two weeks left and I want to go home. I feel far from hearing God and having Him speak into my life every day while I am here. I want my life to be simple again, easy. I felt bad for having these thoughts until today when I read from the book, ReEntry by Peter Jordan, that my thoughts are part of a natural process in which God is weaning me from my present circumstance and is preparing me for my next step in life. That comforted me and God has continued to encourage me throughout today. 

I don’t tell you these things for pity or to make you think badly about Haiti. I tell you these things so that you will know how to love me and uphold me in prayer. I have two weeks until I return home for the next step in my life. I have no idea what that is or what it entails. All I know is that I have two weeks to persevere in Haiti so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. I also know is that God cares for his children and He never gives more than a person can handle. God has given me His strength over the past three weeks and I have conquered much in His name. I pray that I will continue in His strength and conquer more in His name in my last two weeks in Haiti.

“Consider is pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37